Total Casting Recall

Casino - Ep. 36

Are you lonely?
Do you find yourself unwelcome at restaurants?
Have you ever been chased out of one by strange people with swords?
And were some of those weapons fashioned out of biodegradable plastic? 
Well, if you can say 'yes' to any of these questions, this podcast is for you...
(Insert prayer here)
Good afternoon, good day, good night, good evening, and happy days ahead wherever you are on this big blue marble (Earth) as we all wind our way though the madhouse called life because YOU are in for a treat.
CASINO!  
You've probably heard of casinos. Well, Martin Scorsese made a DIY feature film on how to run one. It stars Robert DeNiro, Joseph Pesci and Sharon Stone.
This epic story takes place around the epic city that capitalized on the unstoppable epic addiction of gambling.
Long before Crypto or Fanduel there was Vegas. Hooray for Chris and Lee as they attempt to improve on this classic of American cinema by replacing the actors that made it work with different ones.
Sounds fun right?
You be the judge and jury and the bailiff and the court reporter. Or why not be the courtroom sketch artist?  Give it a try!
Also give it a listen- It's like a honeycomb for your ears.
Sincerely,
Oliver Wendall Holmes (age 217)
 
 

My Blue Heaven - Ep. 35

Hello fearless listeners,
Q: Is your heaven blue?
A: If not, this film should do the trick.
Hi. I'm one of the Top Officials here at Total Casting Recall.
There's two of us. Both named Top. Although my, what I like to call, doppelgänger goes by the handle Topper. Last name is the same for me and him: Officials. Weird. 
Q: Do you ever find yourself watching a movie and wondering how to re-cast it, in your mind?
A: If you do. You've just landed on Total Casting Recall!
Your journey begins as you slide into the sonic meanderings of two professional podcasters doing what they do best.
Possibly...
Hey. Have you seen MY BLUE HEAVEN? 
If you haven't, don't blame yourself.... Rejoice!
Because before you do you'll want heed the information laid out in this program.
MY BLUE HEAVEN stars Steve Martin, Rick Moranis and other funny folks.
This movie will make you question everything you know.
Or it will at least make you question everything Chris and Lee know.
This is what we call in science a win-win.
SPOILER ALERT: Heaven does NOT appear in this movie.
Toodles,
Mr. Top Official.(esq.)
 
 

(SEASON TWO) Escape From New York - Ep. 34

There comes a time when a new season must burst forth....
Here at TOTAL CASTING RECALL, Now is not the time. But we said, NO! IT IS ABOUT TIME.
If you have enjoyed reading these or just enjoy reading, then by all means, please continue to do so. 
This week, we've switched it up. This one is a drama, it's a sci-fi, and it's not supposed to be a comedy. 
It's Escape From New York directed by John Carpenter.
It stars: Kurt 'Godzilla' Russell as Snake Plissken, Lee Van Cleef, Harry Dean Stanton, Issac 'South Park' Hayes, Ernest 'Dutch Oven' Borgnine, Donald 'Duck Dunn' Pleasence and Adrienne Barbeau.
Great cast? You bet. This week, just like always, let's dismantle it.
You got time? So do we. Christ and Leet do their own special damage to the fine cast in this film and reimagine it.
A long time ago, people walked inside their movie theaters and witnessed a film. Probably. I don't know. Use your own judgment.
What they saw was shocking. I'll bet. It's pretty for certain. 
I could be wrong. What are YOU going to do about it?
That's what I thought. Dummies. 
Anyway. They COULD HAVE seen something so bold as this movie.
Long before Escape Rooms. Long before Dreamland Exotic Escape Vacation Getaways. Long before Journey's "Escape" album. Or maybe not....
There was:
EXCAPE FROM NEW YORK.  
Which was a knockoff. Forget that one,  so we'll instead talk about Escape From New York. A dystopian (bad) bummer look at the future of 'Aye-merica.
So crank up your sound systems, or crank up your smart devices or air-pods whatever, because it's a free world. Most of it. For a little while longer. Synchronize your watches! And sit back and listen to the uplifting dulcet tones of two wanna-be film snobs break it down.
Peace,
Charter TCR Member, 'Marvin"
 
 

So I Married An Axe Murderer - Ep. 33

Chris and Lee your (and our) co-hosts serve up another hot one!
SO, I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER... but it's not what you're thinking.
Or it could be. I don't know, okay?!
Fine... So what you are probably thinking is- that we get to see some Axes get what's coming to them, which means some axes get killed.
Nope.
Nor is this a movie about some kick-ass guitar solos. That get married.
Nope.  
Spoiler alert: it's a movie starring Mike Myers. A Canadian who can usually make with the funny, but not in this here flick. He takes a breather and tests your patience real hard.  
No Dana Carvey.
No Dana Andrews.
No Bill Dana.
And so on and so forth.
So sit back or stand right up as Chris and Lee try their darnedest to re-cast this one and do their own brand of re-casting sorcery as they re-cast it, and re-cast it.  
And then they have a chuckle at your expense. Or chortle. Or maybe not. But thank your lucky stars because you'll need 'em like never before.
Whatever that means.
Toodles,
The Totalitarian Castaway Recalcitrants 

Tommy Boy - Ep. 32

It's Chris. It's Lee. It's a Podcast.
It's got sound...
It's TOTAL CASTING RECALL It's indescribable. It's incorrigible. It's irreverent. It's in- your- face-crazy. There are literally trillions of podcasts about re-casting. That includes not just Earth or the Milky Way or even the Local Group. Of course! There are extra- terrestrial podcasts. They've been doing this for millions of years. Because those guys are smart!! Even long ago. So you can stop it, right now!
I don't even know who I'm arguing with at this point.
That's how passionate I am about TOTAL CASTING RECALL.
Also I'm passionate about Tommy Boy. 
Not even a sequel to Tommy, the movie by The Who.
Nope.
Its a completely original American comedy classic starring Chris Farley and David Spade
These 2 comedy Icons rip you a new one ithis time! Farley and Spade gave us the inspiration. Thank You, Chris Farley and David Spade. We owe you one.
Special Note to David Spade.  If I ever see you around, I will give you a free sticker. Til then, good luck to you, Mr. Spade. So maybe you'll see me and then you can collect your free sticker!!
Godpeed,
The TCR Dream Team

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - Ep. 31

Hey Podcast Episode Description Readers of Earth!
Are ready for this? You can now not only read these descriptions but you can also listen to the companion episode as well!
And if you do, you might be pleased to hear what you're listening to.
This episode features the hit film from last century. called
Ace Venture: Pet Detective.
I know what you're thinking: it sounds like a great novel or weapon BUT... 
It's not.
It's a madcap non-stop laugh riot of a comedy starring Jim Carrey who is also Canadian.  
So... now you're asking yourself - what the heck is this movie about?
It's about having a laugh... and NOT thinking at all about global nuclear destruction  -which is how things were done back in the day, bro. And today...as well...  Where was I?
Oh yeah... This is some good reading, right?  Right?!/
Plot: The movie starts and you which it 'til it ends.  Onscreen: Jim plays a fella who opens up his subconscious and connects with animal consciousness and after the cameras stop he (MR. CARREY) goes home and collects a big paycheck and maybe he might have a sandwich. Or two. 
Oh yeah, from what I was told, Christopher Lee re-casts this big movie anyway. So you get to listen to that because Jim Carrey didn't show up to the taping of this episode, plus he is not even aware 'we' did it in the first place, so it all worked out. Bam!
Thanks for reading. I mean it,
Disgruntled TCR Temp Worker who goes by "Gilroy'
 
 

Uncle Buck - Ep. 30

Hoo-ray!! It's our 30th Episode!! Thank you for listening to the first 29 episodes! And to those who haven't, this episode will make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Sorry!
JUST KIDDING. None of the episodes make any sense. Even if you play them backwards... except the one episode that will tell you to run out and buy Led Zeppelin albums. Specifically, the box sets. NOW that that is out of the way.  On with the verbiage...
Do YOU have an Uncle  Buck? Well, we do! 
This week we (Chris and Lee) do some death defying casting and re-cast this classic.
It’s Uncle Buck. Starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin & Amy Madigan. Also included are other actors and crew people, mostly not seen on camera. It was writtena nd directed by John Hughes.
It takes place in Cold America- possibly Chicago- in the late 1980s. 
Plot: Somebody important dies and leaves the kids with another relative (who doesn't have kids) to take care of them. It was.a different time. It was a different century. 
Spoiler Alert: IT TAKES PLACE ON EARTH.
This episode is sure open your mind and rip it apart and thrust it into a different dimension through a portal or something!
Possibly.
Thanks for listening- if you dare...
Sincerely,
Ol' Farteblossem Spitoonski  (The TCR in-house innovator)
 

The Blues Brothers - Ep. 29

You've heard of the Hudson Brothers, the Smith Brothers, the Smothers Brothers, and the Gargantuans. Or maybe there's a few of you left that haven't heard of them. But consider yourself very lucky, because now you have.
Congratulations!
What was I talking about?   Oh yeah...This week, we (Lee and Chris) take a stab a recasting the monumental The Blues Brothers film. Which starred Dan Akyroyd, John Belushi, and many, many others. Plus lots of background actors and lots of cars that get crashed. Way before GTA. In fact, it could have inspired auto accident themed video games to come later. Or maybe it's just me that thinks that. Pro tip: you should always think for yourself.
For those not familiar with this movie, it's about how God himself takes on the layers of law enforcement of the entire state of Illinois and the city of Chicago, using two prototypes of the later crappier versions of the Men in Black. Big difference with these two: they have to jam the blues. Basically...
Sorry, spoiled alerted already been done. 
You'll thrill to the expert recasting choice makers this week as they blow your heels right off your freaking feet. As the music does in this classic film.
Just like the staff here at TCR
They were on a mission from God.
But they were probably paid a lot more for there efforts.
Keep on with the trucking,
THE TCR BROTHERS( siblings)

Heathers - Ep. 28

What is Total Casting Recall? A lot of people are asking! And it just so happens that this is our monumental, deluxe, special EPISODE 28! And when I say a lot of people are asking, I mean, probably about 5 or 6. (This total was counted from memories in my personal encounters in my life). 
And speaking of Life, why not enjoy yours? It's more fun than complaining and doom scrolling. With or without an actual scroll. I don't really care, because both are bad for you!
In this one: Leef and Kris journey into the pre-goth, mad cap world of Heathers which features the hilarious acting stylings of Winona Ryder, the controversial subject of a Primus song, and Christian Slater of Christian Slater. It's about two crazy mixed up kids who themselves in a heap-o-trouble. Back in the olden days before the intra-net.
Leee and Chriss put on their mad caps in this episode and re-cast the Charles Dickens out of this time honored, classic piece of cinematic comedy history.
So, put them ear pod devices in/on or shock collars on and get ready to giggle your buns off!
Invitingly,
Sir Totally Recastingly Recallingsworth III 

Raising Arizona - Ep. 27

Chris and Lee are back! And this time, it's the same.
EXCEPT, IT'S NOT!
But  enough of this rage baiting. Now that your blood has stopped boiling, let us continue...
This we with dive/fall/repel into RAIZING ARIZONA. Not a zombie movie, nor is it a soul stirring, anti gravity movie in which entire state of Arizona is levitated against a backdrop of love and splendor. Nope, it's a garden variety kidnapped/bandit film that was created by the Fabulous Coen Brothers. 
Besides it being a non-stop laugh riot and rip roaring centrifuge of fun- we noticed that it needed re-casting. Well, not because it needed it. It's got Nick Cage, Holly Hunter and bunch of other actors that will make you laugh, cry and make us feel a little better about ourselves. And if doesn't then you must face the fact that your problems lie much deeper. 
So sit back, lean forward or continue jumping if you are a kinesthetic listener and immerse yourself into your own private celebration of sound waves and the art of listening with a difference.
Happily Cautious,
Total Recall Action Teamsters, Phase II